James and Nathan had considered the adoption process for a long time; however Nathan wasn’t as sure of adoption as James, whose great-great aunt had adopted. Nathan wanted to look at other options such as surrogacy but after much deliberation, the couple decided that adoption was the best route to take.
With surrogacy, the resultant child is always half biologically related to one parent. James didn’t like the idea of one of them being more biologically linked to the child than the other, so adoption seemed like the natural solution. The couple also felt that they could offer a stable, loving environment to children already in the world.
As a homosexual couple, both James and Nathan felt apprehensive about attending the three-day introduction course due to potential reactions from heterosexual couples. However, neither James nor Nathan felt like they were being judged on their situation. The couple were concerned that others would take exception to them being at the course and possibly have a feeling of more entitlement. They couldn’t have been more wrong. James and Nathan befriended two couples who adopted, and are still in touch with them today.
On January 13th 2013, the couple’s lives changed forever: they adopted their son. James and Nathan described the rush of intense love they felt for their little boy when they first met him and expressed, “we fell in love with him instantly. He was and continues to be amazing.”
James and Nathan decided to adopt an older child (their son was five at the time) due to their circumstances. The pair couldn’t afford to be off work for longer than required and therefore this formed their decision.
Both James and Nathan are pleased with adopting an older child and describe their little boy as “a character”. Whilst at first, their son was polite and exceptionally well-mannered; he’s now “just a normal six-year old”. The couple are proud of what their little man has had to deal with and how he has dealt with it.
For James and Nathan, the most challenging aspect of the adoption process was the placing authority. The couple felt that they had not had a lot of experience dealing with same-sex couples before and this, along with the fact that James and Nathan were adopting an older child led to a few hiccups. Prior to adopting their son, James and Nathan also had to experience the heartache of being matched to a boy who was later withdrawn from the process. James described the ordeal as “gut wrenching” and claimed to have never seen Nathan that upset. However everything turned out fine in the end, and James and Nathan are glad they persevered to get their perfect family.
However James and Nathan wouldn’t change their adoption process for the world. After an emotional rollercoaster, they are now proud parents and claim that it is the most rewarding thing they have ever done. Whilst adoption is challenging, it’s worth it for the precious gift of parenthood.
If you’re in a similar position to James and Nathan and would like to seek more information and advice on the adoption process, contact one of our agencies today.